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You can look it up. The pterodactyl porn is something of a porn video legend. I can find uploads from as far back as on the Internet and people in forums saying they'd seen it years earlier.
How old is pterodactyl porn? Maybe no one knows. Maybe it's so old that those are real pterodactyls, we don't know. I mean, we know, because it's three guys in awful costumes, but shut up.
The relative age of the pterodactyl porn is startling. As you know, every year on the Internet is like 10 years in real life. Things rot and fester and become more despicable at least 10 times faster, so the fact that this thing has persevered is stunning, as is the fact that it was created way back when.
We all like to think that when the Internet started it was nothing but recipes for bran muffins and gifs of kittens, but alas, that's not true at all.
Claymation is the world's least loved form of animation. No one really likes it -- we just put up with it because we understand that we could never do something like that ourselves.
It must be daunting as hell to make those raisins dance and sing, not to mention all the effort going into smoothing the fingerprints out of Gromit's face.
But at the end of the day, everything looks a bit like the nightmares of a cartoon sex offender. And that's a pretty decent segue into this video.
This particular art is entitled seximation. No, I'm not the one who mistyped "tunnel. I couldn't tell who was who at first, but I guess the one with hair is Tammy.
Fred is bald, and may also be Eric Bana's character from Star Trek. The action is intensely shaky and also made of clay, meaning it's terrible in every way.
It's sexy in the way that being kicked in the stomach after a big meal is sexy. Remember that guy in the movie Se7en?
I typed it with a number in it because I'm picking up what David Fincher was putting down. I'm totally hep.
If I had to guess, I'd say that probably only stop motion animation would be more off-putting in a pornographic setting, because when I think of stop motion, I tend to imagine Japanese horror movies and old Harryhausen flicks, neither of which I have been able to really appropriately fap to.
However, watching Claymation anal is really up there on the list of things that don't cause much groin jitterbugging.
If you were creating a list of sexy spokescritters, who would top that list? Certainly the Michelin Man, with all his sexy, soft curves.
Maybe the Pillsbury Doughboy, if you're into that sort of thing. But where would Mr. Peanut fall? Peanut, a melding of Mr.
Burns and the Monopoly Guy, plus a healthy dose of allergens. Is Mr. Peanut sexy? Hell no. Is this Mr. Peanut porn shoot photo real?
Is it a staged piece of art to make us all feel bad that we have seen such a thing and wondered if there were any jokes on set about being salted?
I don't have the answers to these questions. All I have is what appears to be Mr. Peanut on the happy end of mouth lovin'.
But it does stand as a testament to the breadth and scope of Rule Cartoons, insects, wild beasts? These things are amateur hour.
Someone out there is delving into anthropomorphic legumes. That shit is tight. I searched high and low for a video clip to come along with this one still image, but I was unsuccessful.
Of course my hands were cramped by this point and typing was an issue, plus my computer kept correcting me to Mr.
Penis, which will find you all kinds of pics and videos, but very few that I actually saved to my hard drive. I hope there's a legitimate, full-length Mr.
Harriet Hunt Lake Pier. Hawk Inlet SPB. Hawkins Island Cabin. Heceta Head Lighthouse. Helen's Fright NAC. Herring Bay Cannery. Herring Bay Cannery H.
Herring Bay Diner. Herring Bay Sea Plane Base. Hidden Inlet Lake Cabin. Hidden Inlet Retreat. Hinchinbrook Island Sites.
High Lake Cabin. High Mine. Hole in the Wall Cabin. Hollis Harbor. Homan Lake Camp. Hoonah SPB. Huckleberry Mine. Hugh Smith Lake Hatchery. Hunter Bay Cannery.
Iggy's Harbor. Institute Creek Marina Dock. Island Lake Farm. Iskut Village CBU2. Jake's Bar Cabin AK0.
Jay Kay's Last Resort. Jedway Base. Jennings Lake Cabin. Jim's Landing Pullout. Jobim Creek. John Jay Weather Station.
Johns Hopkins Cabin. Jordan Lake Cabin. Juneau Harbor SPB. Juneau International SPB. Kasaan KXA Helicopter. Kathleen Lake Cabin. Katzehin Airstrip. Katzehin River Cabin North.
Katzehin River Cabin South. Keets Creek Cabin W. Kenai Drifter Lodge Dock. Kenai Riverside Lodge Pullout. Kenai Princess RV Park. Kenai Princess Wilderness Lodge.
Kennecott Copper Mine. Keyhole Falls. Khutze River Lodge. Khutzeymateen River Lodge. Khyex River Railroad Bridge.
Kiagna River Cabin. Kidala Pass PF Kidala Pass Airstrip Bravo. Kimsquit River Cabin. Kimsquit River Logging Camp. Kingfisher Lodge.
Kitsault Gold Camp. Kitsault Peak Ice Station. Klawock Snow Dogs Ops Ctr. Klinkwan Fish Camp. Kloo Lake SAK1.
Kluane Lake Cabin Talbot Arm. Kluane Lake Cabin. Klutina Outfitters. Komaham Lodge. Kowesas River Cabin. Kowesas River Lodge pier.
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Labouchere Dock TF Laidman Lake Airstrip. Laidman Lake Lodge. Lake Crescent Lodge. Lake Laberge North. Lake Laberge South.
Lake Louise Lodge. Landmark Gap Resort W. Landmark Gap Resort Airstrip. Lake Creek Cabin. Lake Dorothy Hydro. Lake Ozette.
Lake Woahink SPB. Lavender Lake Lodge. Letnikov Cove Cannery. Lime Springs Creek Cabin. Lindeman Lake Cabin. Little Andrew Bay Cabin.
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Llewellyn Glacier NW Cabin. Lost Lake Cabin. Louise Lake Cabin. Lucky Lindy's Place PF Luelia Lake Cabin. Lumber Camp Shelter Dock. Lynn Canal Anchorage Strip.
Machmel Village H. Machmel Village W. Machmel Falls Cabin. Magic Bus Mahoney Lake Hydro. Majuba Lake Remains. Mallard Slough Cabin.
Manhatta River Log Camp. Manhatta River Hatchery. Manhatta River Log Floats. Margerie Glacier Cabin. Marilla Airstrip. Masset Inlet Cabin.
Mesa Lake Cabin. Meziadin Lake Campground. Metlakatla Jetty. Miller Lake. Misty Moorings Air Taxi. Misty Moorings River Contest. Misty's Old Yacht Club.
Misty's Place dock. Misty's Place ramp. Misty's Place Amphib. Monahan Creek Cabin. Monastery Owikeno mooring. Monastery Owikeno heli.
Moon Lake Cabin. Moose Lake Lodge. Moresby Camp. Moser Bay Facility 1. Moser Bay Facility 2. Mount Jefferson Outpost. Mt Johnson Ice Station.
Mt Light Retreat. McLeod Ice Station. Mt Kinch Ice Station. Mt Matlock Cabin. Mt Pattullo Ice Station.
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Nekite Lake Cabin. Nelson Lake Cabin. New Eddystone Rock. Nina Cove Lodge. Nina's Landing. Nisga's Glacial Lake Lodge.
Norandex Mining Operations. Nucheck Village Ruins. Ocean Falls. Old Abandoned Fish Hatchery. Ootsa Lake Community.
Ootsa Lake Log Transport. Oppy Lake Cabin. Osland Harbor. Otter Mountain Ice Station. Owikeno Farm. Owikeno N Airstrip. Owikeno S. Owikeno W. Pacific Gateway Airport Lodge.
Pakes Landing Dock TF Paradise Cove. Partridge Lake Cabin. Perry Island Lodge. Perry Island SPB. Petrof Bay Camp.
Petry Lake Cabin. Pickett Lake Cabin. Pike Lake Cabin. Plants Lake Cabin. Point McIntyre AK Port Alice Logging.
Port Bazan Cannery. Port Hardy. Port Protection Dock. Port Refugio BBQ. Portage Bay Cabin. Portage Bay Dock TF Prayer Lake Cabin.
Primrose Campground. Primrose Lake Cabin. Prince Rupert Shipping. Ptarmigan Creek Campground. Punchbowl Lake Retreat.
Qualcho Lake Cabin. Quall River Fish Camp. Quartz Creek Campground. Quartz Creek Floats. Quatsino Lighthouse.
Quiet Lake Cabin. Quiet Nights Cabin. Racine Lake Cabin. Rainbow Mountains Lodge PF Ray's Cabin. Redfern River Lodge. River House Machmel.
Roadside Cabin. Ron's Cabin NAC. Rose Lake Cabin. Rose Point Camp. Rowan Bay Dock. Ruth Lake Hydro. Ryan's Cabins. Saint Johns Bay Dock.
Saint Johns Bay Shipwreck. Salmon Run Lodge. Saltery Lodge, The. Sandmann Lodge L. Russman was attempting to repair a broken barricade along the back door.
Chapter 1 2. Chapter 2 3. Chapter 3 4. Chapter 4 5. Chapter 5 6. Chapter 6 7. Chapter 6,5 8. Chapter 7 9. Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11